Different May Be Better
by nawlins79
Summary: What could have happened to Andy's love life after walking away from her fight for Sam in episode 4x03.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. So I started this right after episode 4x03 when Andy decides to walk away from Sam and not fight for him. I'm a Sam/Andy fan through and through, but at the time I wrote this I was more of an Andy fan and wanted to explore her making her own way without Sam – and away from Nick, who I feel is a much better friend than lover. I'm posting this as incomplete in the hopes of getting some reviews on whether or not to continue. That being said, enjoy!**

_Yeah, I don't want easy, I want crazy__  
><em>_Are you with me baby? Let's be crazy_

_**I Want Crazy, by Hunter Hayes**_

"Andy needs to get laid," Chloe stated loudly and emphatically. "Like yesterday!"

Traci's mouth gaped opened and her eyebrows rose nearly to her hairline. She couldn't help but hear the gasp and subsequent coughing of her partner sitting just behind Chloe, who glanced back and began to hit him hard between the shoulders.

"Seriously, the girl is a desert, we have to do something," she said all the while slapping hard at Sam's back.

"I . . .I don't see how we can help," Traci stuttered over the sound of Sam hacking.

"Hey, you okay?" Chloe finally asked Sam.

He nodded, still sputtering a bit and tried to clean up the mess he made of his desk at the same time.

"Look, I just think we need a girls night and not at the Penny or at one of our apartments, one because I practically live with Dov and that defeats the purpose of a girls night, although he can paint toenails like no body's business."

Traci's mouth fell open again and it took everything in her to keep eye contact with Chloe and not look behind her at Sam, who had stopped moving and coughing and was now paying very close attention to what Chloe was saying.

"Okay? A girls' night. I think we can handle that."

"Great! You pick the place, but it has to be Thursday night. We all have Friday off. Give her maximum time to get her groove on. And it has to have single guys, but not desperate ones, so no clubs downtown. Oh, and there has to be music. Lots of loud, booty music."

"Are you sure you want me to find a place?" Traci asked, while cataloging all the places they could possibly go and still meet some of Chloe's criteria.

"Yes. I just think the girl needs some serious flirting and . . And smiling! You know, have a good time, away from the familiar. New people. Good times," Chloe waved her hands around as she spoke, nearly beaning Sam in the head. "So, Thursday night, girls night, music, flirting, smiling, got it?"

"Oh, I got it."

"Yay! Rock and roll!" Chloe clapped her hands; fist pumped the air and bounced out of the D's office.

Traci had turned to watch Chloe exit and slowly twirled her chair back around, running directly into Sam's stunned face.

"What?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Nothing."

"Figures." Traci said under her breath and went back to studying the opened file on her desk. It took a few moments before Sam turned to face his desk and it took all of Traci's willpower to keep from saying exactly what was on her mind.

(…)

If there was one thing Andy McNally knew without a doubt, it was that she was woefully lacking in the romance department. Not that she really wanted romance. Or rather romance with just anyone. Months later and she still couldn't look at Sam without having completely inappropriate thoughts about him. Which, then led to very unfortunate thoughts about what he might be doing with . . . the other woman . . . rather than her.

Then she would end up on her sofa alone after work with a pint of ice cream and cheesy rom-com movies to pass the time. She avoided the shelf of action movies since nearly all had some connotations of time spent lazing about on the sofa with Sam . . . and not with ice cream . . . except that one time, which she'd rather not think about.

So it didn't surprise her in the least that Traci, with a healthy nudge from Chloe, set up a girl's night for them to go trolling for guys, or more specifically a guy for Andy, to flirt with.

"Why am I doing this again?" Andy whined. She was sitting patiently on the seat of her toilet, staring at the ceiling and praying Chloe wouldn't poke her in the eye with the eyeliner pencil.

"Because you need to get out and meet someone new."

"But . . "

"Don't think I didn't see the three pints of ice cream in your trash bin."

"Yeah, why would you buy pistachio ice cream? That stuff is disgusting," Traci piped up from Andy's room.

Okay, so maybe she had indulged in a little pity party the other night, sobbing over Die Hard into a bowl of green ice cream. It's not like she caved every night, maybe every third night . . . okay every other night, but who could judge her?

"Andy, just trust me." Chloe finished lining Andy's eyes and produced a hand mirror with flourish.

Andy raised her eyebrows as she inspected Chloe's work. The liner was heavier than everyday wear, but lighter than she normally wore when going out on the town. It was also a glittery black and emphasized her smoky color palette.

"Fine. You win," Andy said with a sigh. "But don't think this has disaster written all over it." She stated over her shoulder as she walked out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

Traci was lounging on the bed, flipping through a magazine, which immediately brought back memories of another time and place. Andy fought back the memories, beating them down with a mental baseball bat, then slipped on a pair of low-heeled boots.

"So where are we headed?"

Twenty minutes later, Chloe pulled up next to The Shamrock, as pronounced by the rather loud and sparkly shamrock above the main door.

"Get us a table and I'll grab drinks!" Traci yelled over the din of the band warming up on stage.

Chloe grabbed Andy's hand, raising it so they wouldn't knock any drinks over, making her way to the other side of the stage where a lone empty table sat.

Andy sat down facing the stage while Chloe dragged the other two chairs around to face the stage as well. Both surveyed the bar as they waited for Traci.

A few minutes later Traci returned and placed three pints of green beer in front of them.

"What the hell is that?" Chloe asked, pointing at the drink in front of her. She slid it across the table so she could smell it.

"Shamrock Lager," Traci replied. "It's their signature beer."

Andy and Chloe looked at each other, clinked glasses and took a huge gulp.

The band was busy tuning their instruments while the patrons of the bar conversed loudly. The Shamrock was the opposite of the Penny. Andy could see some cops seated throughout the room, easily spotted by how they held their arms as though ready to draw a gun in a heartbeat, and of course the requisite badge bunnies, but there were also college students huddled around the pool tables, older patrons crowded towards the back as far from the stage as possible. Even a couple of drunks on the far edges of the bar top nursing whisky and scotch.

"Where did you find this place?" Andy asked.

"Um, I heard about it from one of the officers on the day shift a few days ago. Said this place had good live music," Traci answered. She didn't want to tell Andy that Sam's old mentor had mentioned the place. She knew Sam would never show up here after what had happened with Charlie. He was loyal to the Penny for his after work drinks.

"This is great! And the guys are hot!" Chloe spoke up; her voice was loud enough to cause the table of guys next to theirs to grin at them.

It was then the band started and Andy's focus shifted to them. More specifically to the perfect specimen of man holding an acoustic guitar. The lead singer was a woman with a voice between Adele and Sheryl Crow. His voice perfectly complimented hers and Andy could detect a slight accent, but couldn't tell from where based on his singing.

The music was amazing. After two songs, the audience changed from actively listening to the music to dancing on the makeshift dance floor in front of the stage. Conversations flowed around them.

The guitar player was mesmerizing. Andy couldn't stop staring at him. Even while talking with Chloe and Traci she kept one eye on him.

He was fairly tall with black jeans that hugged his thighs and ass in the right places. He wore a white wife beater under an unbuttoned camo green shirt, several chains hung around his neck though they disappeared under his shirts.

"I think Andy has forgotten we're here," Chloe stated, poking her hard in the side.

"Hey! That hurt!" Andy rubbed her side tearing her eyes away from the stage.

"You should talk to him when they're finished," Chloe suggested.

Andy took a large gulp of beer to empty her glass. A quick glance back at the stage showed she had caught his attention. He was looking straight at her, grinning as he sang. He winked and Andy couldn't help the blush rushing up her neck.

"Ohhhh, wow!" Chloe was practically wiggling in her seat. "I so have to text Dov."

She pulled her phone out and snapped a picture before Andy could grab for the phone.

"Stop it! You promised you wouldn't tell the boys where we went tonight!"

"I'm not telling where we are, just sending him a picture of the most perfect piece of man meat I've ever laid eyes on. I mean, Dov is great and incredible in bed, but c'mon?! Sexy guitar guy? Has to be stellar."

Andy groaned and buried her face in her hands. Traci laughed and pat her on the back.

"It could be worse."

"Really? How?"

Traci stared at the ceiling before shrugging her shoulders in defeat. Andy shook her head then turned back to the stage to enjoy the music.


	2. Chapter 2

"_**We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow"**_

_**- Just a Kiss, Lady Antebellum **_

"You going to answer that?" Marlo asked, glancing over to the passenger seat where Andy slumped against the window.

The rapid guitar beat filled the cruiser, although it was slightly muffled from being in her pants pocket. Andy's heart beat wildly once the song registered and she knew who exactly was calling.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," she answered and fumbled for the phone. "Hey, hi!" She tried unsuccessfully to turn her back to Marlo for a little privacy.

Marlo watched with amusement. They were stopped at the park for a short break before heading back out to patrol the streets. Andy had been unusually quiet for most of the morning. They had formed a sort of truce with each other once it became apparent they would be partnered more often than not. Marlo wasn't one to feel threatened by her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, but Andy caused a little intimidation.

"Hmmm, I'm off at six tonight," Andy's voice broke into Marlo's musings. "Yeah, that sounds great. Mmm, bye."

Andy clicked off the phone and slipped it back into her pocket. She slumped against the window, tucking her hands between her thighs and released a sigh. She wanted to block out Marlo and any chance of her asking questions about a personal call while on duty. She still hadn't figured the woman out. Besides being a stickler for rules and barely cracking a smile, Andy had no clue who she was as a regular person. Not that she really cared. The less she knew about the woman Sam chose to date instead of her, the better.

"Hot date?"

"What?" Andy said keeping her eyes closed, silently willing her partner to shut up.

"Sounded like you were making plans for later. I figured it was a date." Marlo responded, shifting slightly in her seat. Her eyes tracked across the park checking for problems. She refused to entertain the thought that if Andy didn't have a date, then she wasn't finally getting over Sam and . . . .she shut that thought back down. She had to trust Sam when he said their relationship was over, regardless of Andy's feelings.

"Meeting up with a friend," Andy finally replied. "Break over?"

Marlo took a deep breath, forced down the sarcastic reply and nodded. Andy sat up and put her attention on the computer between them, scanning the list of possible areas to drive through. Without another word between them Marlo put the car in drive and headed towards the south side of their patrol zone.

Four hours later they pulled into the parking lot. Marlo could count on one hand how many times they had spoken to each other. It had been too quiet a day for both of them. Marlo sighed when Andy jumped out of the car, slammed the door and headed towards the door to the barn with long legged strides. Even in uniform there was no mistaking the rolling sway of her hips. It hit her all over again that Sam had once dated Andy. Marlo beat back the bite of jealousy and got out of the car. She lifted her face to the sky and took a deep breath, one that was no longer filled with whatever perfume and soap combination Andy wore.

"Hey, you okay?" Oliver asked, himself looking toward the sky.

"I'm . . . fine," Marlo settled on, once again reminded there were few people at 15 she could trust to talk with about Andy and Sam's relationship. Oliver, although being Sam's best friend was someone she had learned quickly was very much in the camp of McSwarek – a term she found aggravatingly annoying, especially given Dov's penchant for saying it as often as he could get away with.

"Sure you are," he said with a grin. "Keep telling yourself that. Andy cause problems today?"

Marlo looked at him in surprise. He shrugged.

"She can be a handful most days." He said by way of explanation.

Marlo snorted softly then pulled her bag out of the backseat. "I think I can handle one rookie for a day."

"Okay."

(…)

Sam was just leaving the break room when Andy rushed past him, her shoulder holding her phone to her ear while she rummaged through her purse. She didn't stop or even slow down to acknowledge his presence. His eyes followed her progress down the hall to where she stopped in front of the door heading to the parking lot.

"You're here? I thought I was meeting you there? No, no, no problem. I swear. It's good. I'm heading out right now," her voice carried down the short hallway. Sam's eyes narrowed when she let out a bright laugh, opened the door and waved at whoever was waiting beyond. He couldn't see past her and it didn't sit well with him.

"Keep that up and you'll start to drool on yourself."

Sam jerked and found Ollie standing right next to him. Ollie just raised his eyebrows and nodded in the direction Andy had left in.

"What do you want?" He asked with a glower at him.

Ollie regarded him for a moment, trying to gauge his mood and figured no matter what he said was going to be met with avoidance or derision, in the end he didn't care much.

"Marlo was partnered with Andy today. They didn't exactly part on good terms. Practically freezing cold out there."

"Your point would be?"

"My point is, your girlfriend spent the better part of the day with your ex-girlfriend and came back at the end of shift in a mood. Either Andy was being her usual charming self and got on her nerves or they barely spoke to each other and got on each other's nerves," Ollie explained.

Sam closed his eyes and counted to ten. He felt the energy seep out of his body. Marlo had not once pressured him for information on Andy, even after Andy had come back from undercover, but now that they were partnered on a regular basis, Sam could feel the questions building in Marlo, though she never voiced them. He was just waiting for the day when her curiosity got the better of her. And he did not want it to be today.

"Where's Marlo?" He finally asked.

"Locker room."

(…)

"I haven't done this since I was a teen!" Andy exclaimed amid the sound of the thump and crash of bowling balls against oiled lanes and pins.

She was methodically checking each and every ball lined up in the racks along the back wall of the lanes. She particularly liked the neon colored balls, but couldn't find one to fit her hand. Most balls were not designed for left handed bowlers and she hated bowling with her right hand.

"I thought you'd like it," a mellow lilting Irish accent replied.

Andy glanced over her shoulder and found him staring at her with a crooked smile on his lips. His thick reddish-brown hair fell into his grey-green eyes, as he bent over to tie the laces on his rented bowling shoes.

"You thought right," she replied with another grin and then a surprised laugh when a bowling ball with pink, green and white swirls fit her left hand perfectly. "I might have to steal this one," she said, swinging her arm for practice.

"I'll distract the manager," he said, standing up and bounced a bit to test the shoes fit. "Let's get to it."

She placed her ball next to the plain black one he had already picked out. While she entered their names into the computer, he ordered them a pitcher of beer and a pizza from the waitress circling among the throng of bowlers and little kids crowding the lanes.

"I'm going to guess that you don't need my help lining up your shot?" He asked with a laugh when Andy stepped up on the lane. He was referencing the night they had met and he'd talked her into playing pool.

"I think I got this," she retorted. "Watch and learn, big guy."

"Best view in the house, darlin'," he shot back. He folded his arms and leaned against the high top table, his eyes intent on her, the sway of her hips, the way the swing of her arm pulled up the tight shirt she wore exposing a slice of tanned skin. She raised her arms in triumph when the ball slashed through all pins, knocking them down with a crash.

"Strike!" She yelled, turning to him with a huge smile, her arms in the air. "Beat that!"

He laughed at her exuberance and when she hopped off the lane, wrapped a hand around her hip and squeezed lightly, his thumb rubbing against that tanned skin lightly. They locked eyes for a brief moment.

Andy took a shaky breath when he released her. That brief touch had sparked a whole lot of butterflies she wasn't used to feeling. Aside from a few platonic kisses from Nick during their undercover stint, a man hadn't touched her over a year.

She had scoffed at the idea of trolling for guys when Chloe and Traci had dragged her out for girl's night. Then she had caught sight of him, up on stage, singing with that amazing voice, his fingers nimble on the guitar strings, plucking each in a way that left nothing to the imagination for what he could do with them in other situations. When he had caught her eye and winked, she had felt a flicker of something she couldn't identify, but then he had dropped into the seat next to her when they were done and she realized it was desire.

He had introduced himself as Chase Cavanaugh with his mellow Irish accent and she had been charmed. She couldn't even remember what they talked about except that at some point during the night, Traci and Chloe had left and Chase had talked her into a game of pool. Where he proceeded to show her the proper way to play, leaning against her back, his hands hot on her hips. They had joked and laughed splitting a pitcher of beer as they traded barbs and good-natured ribbing. It had been apparent towards the end of the night he had wanted her go home with him, but the similarity of the evening to the first night spent with Sam was too great and she couldn't. Not that it had stopped him from exchanging numbers and calling her first thing the next morning.

In the two weeks since then, they had gone to breakfast a couple of times after their respective overnight shifts, met up at Shamrock's for drinks after work, went to dinner and a movie and talked or text on the phone.

"Haha!" Chase laughed as he pivoted towards her with his arm stretched behind him gesturing to the pins. "Strike!"

"Lucky."

"Talented."

"Wishful thinking."

"Hopeful."

He reached for her, wrapped his arms around her waist and dropped a quick kiss to her lips. Andy rested her hands on his biceps and hummed softly. She smiled and closed her eyes lifting her face to his. He kissed the tip of her nose before settling his mouth against hers. He tasted of beer and mint and for a brief moment she was sent back to another time and another place, but the crash of pins and his slightly taller stature brought her to the present. She sank into the kiss and enjoyed the play of lips and tongue and breath mingling.

He broke the kiss, gave her waist a squeeze and slowly ran his hands across the swell of her ass to rest on her hips. "Tasty." He whispered against her mouth.

Andy cleared her throat and stepped away. She hadn't been expecting the rush of lust for Chase to be mixed with sharp memories of Sam. She knew this was the first step to moving on from him. It wasn't as easy as she had hoped it would be. With Luke it had been anger and embarrassment at being cheated on. Then realizing she hadn't truly loved him, not the way she fell in love with Sam. Him breaking things off the way he had, had given her no closure to the relationship. So her heart was having a hard time catching up to her head.

"Chase, I . . . " Andy started, floundering with how to continue.

"Hey, Andy," he said, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder. "No pressure, okay?"

Andy looked at him in surprise. He shrugged with a lopsided grin.

"We'll bowl, pig out on pizza and beer," he said good-naturedly. "We can decide where the night ends later."

Andy nodded. A slow grin spread across her face as they stared at each other, her cheeks flushing pink from the heat reflected in his eyes. He smiled back at her, then stepped aside and gestured to her bright bowling ball.

"I bet you can't get another strike," he taunted softly as she passed him.

"Fifty says I will win the game."

"You're on."

**A.N. Reviews are welcomed. Bashing of the writers/characters is not. This is not the place to argue over Season 4.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow_

_And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrower your heart _

_Not a Bad Thing_

_Justin Timberlake_

She felt his warm callused hand press firmly against her lower back before sweeping up her bare spine and then rest against her neck. He squeezed lightly, she felt the bed shift under her and then his lips were on her forehead. She could feel the cool air in her bedroom waft across her back and combined with the heat from his hand and mouth, she shivered as her skin goose bumped.

"I gotta go, lass," he whispered against her forehead. "I'm needed at work."

Andy smiled at his usage of the word "lass." They had gotten into a verbal war over stupid nicknames and the over usage of "baby" and "babe." He had joked he would start calling her lass, she had laughed not thinking him serious, but he had been and unfortunately it had stuck.

"Okay," she murmured and snuggled back into her pillows.

"I'll call when I get a break. I'm sorry I couldn't make you breakfast," he said, giving her one more kiss.

"That's fine."

"Get some rest."

She listened to him walk out of her bedroom, cross the wood floors to the door, the swish of his jacket as he pulled it on and the soft click of her front door closing. Luckily it locked on its own behind him; it was still dark outside and since she was not on the schedule for work, she had every intention of remaining in bed as long as possible, mostly to stave off the rising panic she was beginning to feel in her gut.

Chase being on-call for the next two days and nights was one of the reasons she had asked him to come back to her place. He was not only a talented musician, but was also an ER doctor at Victoria Mercy. So she knew there was a high probability he would be called away during the night and they could avoid the awkward morning after scene. Not that he found anything awkward about walking around her bedroom naked as he gathered his clothes from the night before. Andy had pretended to be asleep and had watched him the entire time through slitted eyes.

Now that he was gone for the day, Andy could fully indulge in and appreciate the panic associated with having sex for the first time in over a year with someone completely new.

She rolled over in bed, clutched the bed linens to her chest and breathed deeply. She stared up at the ceiling and went back over the night before. Andy had never thought of herself as a prude, nor did she fall in love with every guy she slept with. Only Luke and Sam were the exceptions to that rule. And with Luke it had been more her forcing the affection than really feeling it, at least not the way she felt it for Sam. With Chase it was completely different. She liked him. Spending time with him, laughing with him, going to movies or out to dinner. He seemed to like her rambling narratives about whatever show they were watching or about what had happened during their workdays. She enjoyed listening to his music and going to watch his shows.

So why was she so torn up inside, feeling like she had cheated on Sam?

Andy groaned and rubbed her hands over her face roughly. She rolled again to get out of bed, stretching sore muscles as she stood up.

"Ugh! Stop it! He's moved on and so have you. God!" She scolded under her breath, pulling her hair roughly away from her face, twisting it over her shoulder before letting go.

Within twenty minutes, she had showered, dressed in jeans and a hoodie and was headed out the door to find a bus to take her downtown.

(…)

"Hey, Sammy!" Ollie yelled through the open front door and the noxious fumes and the high pitch whir of multiple fans immediately assaulted him. "I have beer and pizza!"

"Up here!" Came the reply, muffled.

Oliver set the pies down on the counter in the kitchen, beer into the fridge and then headed towards the stairs, the noxious fumes increasing in potency as he went up.

"What are you doing?" He said as he walked into the master suite, took in the boxes of light fixtures and two mirrors wrapped in plastic, he turned into the mast bathroom and stared in disbelief.

The entire room was covered in plastic and blue tape, splotches of paint here and there, and Sam standing in the middle of it all next to a ladder.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He answered with a sarcastic smirk.

"Okay, why?"

"Why not? It's been covered in flowered wallpaper shit since I moved in."

"Yeah, and you haven't done a damn thing to change that ever since," Ollie replied while lifting a corner of the plastic covering the vanity. "Nice."

He looked up at the ceiling and found electrical wires hanging down and fresh paint. "You're supposed to finish painting before putting the new cabinets in."

"No shit, ya think?" Sam retorted and grabbed a bottle of water, downing the majority of it in one gulp. "I got the cabinets in and realized the ceiling was too white. I wasn't about to move everything out again," he explained, shrugged and went about closing the paint cans, tossing the brushes and rollers into a bucket to take to the basement to clean.

"It looks good, man," Ollie said with a slap to his back. "Marlo will like it. When does she get back from the States?"

Sam shrugged again, ignoring his friend's comments; it was entirely possible he really didn't care what his girlfriend thought of his bathroom. In fact, it _was_ possible the entirety of the master bathroom had been conceived and designed by McNally over a year ago. Most of the items ordered before and then delivered shortly after Jerry's untimely death and had sat in his basement for the last year. With Marlo gone on holiday with her sister for a week had given him the time to start and complete the renovation.

McNally had picked out the light sconces for the walls to hang on the right, middle and left of two mirrors, one for each sink. The mirrors were framed in heavy wrought iron with swirls and curlicues. Instead of one giant double sink counter, there were two separate cabinets and the sinks were bowls in muted blue glass in the shape of a wave to sit on top. Even the stupid toilet roll holder was ornate wrought iron with blue glass beads. The tiles surrounding the Jacuzzi tub (the only item in the entire room Sam had chosen against McNally's wishes, she had wanted a claw foot tub, but he had wanted the jets) were small tiles in varying shades of blue and grey. He had painted the walls a blue-grey and when he found the ceiling too white, had chosen a soft cream.

The entire effect of the room was one of elegance and luxury without the hefty cost, considering she had scoured rehab shops and thrift stores and gotten deals on it all.

He had intended to surprise McNally with the finished product, but then everything had been shot to hell and then he didn't have the desire to do anything with it. Marlo certainly knew nothing about it. She had never gone into his basement to see the unopened boxes. And she very rarely spent the night or even left her own toiletries in his bathroom when she did spend the night. She made sure to keep her stuff securely packed in her overnight bag.

After things had gone south with McNally, he was still finding hair binders behind the toilet, in the sofa cushions, even in the junk drawer in his kitchen. An old toothbrush in the holder by the sink, her Maple Leafs jersey in the washroom, and a pair of bikini briefs in bright green with glittery words _Kiss Me I'm Irish _printed on the ass had been buried in the back of his drawer. He had a bag of her stuff in the back of his closet and was not quite able to give it back to her. As if by doing so it was really and truly over between them.

"I'm starving, let's eat," Sam finally said and pushed Ollie out of the room ahead of him.

(…)

"So, how are you doing today?"

Andy had taken a few moments to sit down and then pulled her legs up to wrap her arms around her shins. This was her standard position for her sessions. She had tried laying down, sitting up and neither worked.

"I had sex last night," she finally blurted out, her fingers curling around her sock clad feet. Her boots had been kicked off right away.

The therapist raised her eyebrows and waited patiently for her to elaborate. This was how each session started, an easy question, a blurted answer and then Andy trying to figure out where to go from there.

"It's been over a year since . . . " she trailed off, her eyes darting past the therapist and out the window. "I wasn't . . . I didn't . . . I hadn't planned on a . . . " she finally stopped trying and focused back on the woman sitting across from her and shrugged her shoulders, frowning.

"How long have you been seeing . . ." she looked down to consult her notes. "Chase?"

"Almost a month."

"So this was a natural progression of your relationship." Waited for a quick nod from Andy. "What caused you to freak out?"

Andy closed her eyes, thought briefly about the previous night, she straightened her shoulders and opened her eyes. "Nothing really. Maybe just being with someone new when I thought I was done with meeting new guys."

"Sam?"

"Yes. Sam. I thought he was it, y'know? Like I've finally found my one and only and I wouldn't have to date again, meet new guys, decide if or when to sleep with them. Now?" Andy explained, her hands clutching her jeans tightly. "I just didn't want that again. I don't."

"You told me Sam has moved on with a new woman. Don't you believe you should be able to move on too? To find someone new, who will love you, who you can be yourself with?"

"I want to believe that. Even though my parents marriage fell apart, I know marriage can work, I know two people can have that love and make a life together. And I want that. I still want that," she said vehemently and then more quietly with a slight tremble to her voice. "With Sam."

"Not Chase?"

"I'm being unfair to him."

Andy had been coming to the same therapist Frank had forced on the precinct all those months ago, only she had continued to come even after the mandatory sessions. It had helped with transitioning back to regular life after being undercover and then even more as she had to watch Sam and Marlo together at the Barn, at the Penny, every where. So, Andy knew she was taking her time in preparing what she would say.

"I think you are being unfair to yourself. You are a beautiful woman, with a great career ahead of you and more compassion for your fellow man than anyone I've ever met. And I've met a lot of people in your profession. As much as it hurts to realize, to life with, Sam has moved on from his relationship with you, at least romantically. We've talked before and it is apparent he still wants to remain your friend, professionally and personally. I think Chase is a man who is patient and kind and willing to help you deal with your demons and get you past them."

Andy couldn't stop the tears from falling and swiped at them angrily, soaking the wrists of her hoodie. This was nothing she hadn't told herself a million times, but hearing it from someone else hurt worse.

"You have had a couple of very serious relationships that had moved either too slowly or at warp speed. You need to find a pace between the two and you are finding that with Chase. You need to take a deep breath and enjoy the time you spend together. Don't worry about the future, whether it's in a week or in two years, just enjoy yourself, no pressure."

Andy wiped her eyes again and nodded, smiling shakily at her. The therapist picked up the box of tissues off the end table, leaned forward and handed them to Andy.

"Now, why don't we switch gears? How is work going?"

**A.N. I appreciate each and every review I have received and am sorry I did not have the chance or time to respond to them. Just know that I read every single one and each makes me just that much more ready to write my own novel. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. **


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